Stevens in the States

Sorry for the lack of updates over the last couple of weeks, it's been busy... or I've been drunk... or quite possibly both. Lots to tell, lots of observations, lots of fun.

I fly back to the UK today, so I'll write a "considered report" while on the plane, and will post it along with lots of photos and another sound clip tomorrow, from London.

Time flies when you're having fun, so I hope the plane is fun. I somehow doubt it though...

7pm, a Barnsley nanny tries to bring some sense to a bonkers American household.

8pm, Gordon Ramsey tries to bring some sense to a kitchen... by swearing a lot.

Two countries of television, divided only by the number of commercial breaks.

Wow!

Quite possibly the best gig I've ever been to! It rates up there with Air and Jamie Cullum as completely awesome occasions.

For starters, tickets were 25 dollars... but if you bought a copy of their album (Hopes and Fears) for 15 dollars then you got a free ticket! So, an immediate saving of 10 dollars and a free album to boot. A good deal.

The venue was superb - the Nokia Theatre in Grand Prarie, Dallas. It's in the middle of nowhere which means no parking issues, though I missed the touts and dodgy-merchandise-selling guys that you normally get. The Manchester Apollo this wasn't.

And the band... absolutely fabulous. The emotion that they put into the gig was incredible. Just the three of them on stage (no guitars, you know) doing pretty much all the songs off the album, plus some new ones, plus some other bits. I've taken loads of photos which I'll upload later.

It was also quite a homely experience. Keane have been my favourite band of the last year or two, so to be seeing them out here felt really special. A nice connection to the homeland. That's also three UK bands in less than a fortnight which seems a bit over the top.

Yesterday afternoon I ended up having a pint with a friend in a very dark pub that was playing Ring Of Fire by Johnny Cash on the jukebox. Hurrah! That's the American life for you!

Less than a fortnight till I return now. Just as I'm getting used to it all.

I think I'm starting to get heavier. With this in mind, a friend of mine asked Kelly Clarkson (her off American Idle... erm, I mean Idol) what I should do to stay thin.

Her advice? Well, I don't think she'll be a gym instructor yet! But amusing none-the-less!

Click here to listen

So tonight, I'm going to buy a top-up phone card, a box of washing powder... and Kelly's latest album. More celebrity endorsements are welcome!

So there I was, on the phone to Ian in Yorkshire, when my pay-as-you-go phone ran out of credit. Out of credit! Now there's a situation I've not been in before! So tonight it's back to the shop for another card. Incredible.

Also, the hotel/flat/accommodation place that I'm based in has run out of washing powder in the vending machines. However, I've discovered that they do have a swimming pool! That'll need exploring!

Went to a Ford dealership at the weekend. They had three Mustangs, two Focus's and aroundd 150 pick-up trucks. "Well", said the saleswoman, "This is Texas." Actually I've seen some really funny vehicles over the last few days so I'll grab some photos.

The only salad I've found so far is the McDonalds salads that they brought out to counteract all that McFat publicity a year or two. It seems odd to go to McD's cos it's the healthiest option! Shurely Shome Mishtake?

So what's happened since the last blog? Well, in no particular order...

Have eaten raw fish... for the first time, I think.
Got stared at by a police car while sitting by White Rock Lake.
Watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off - a fantastic film
Have pretended I was commentating on a world record-breaking event for a radio station in the UK

So, off to buy a phone card and a box of washing powder then. The showbiz life continues!

It's partly my fault... foolishly, I left my MasterCard in London. Well, I lost it in the flat a few days before flying out (lost while buying a ringtone with my flatmate). So I brought my Switch card over, cos the website hints that Maestro is accepted all over the place.

Is it bollocks.

Reality is, Maestro (Switch) is accepted here and there, namely in Wal-Mart and the odd shop here and there. But you can't rely on it. So instead, every 10 days or so I have to withdraw a load of cash (from a cash machine inside Wal-Mart; I don't fancy my chances at a drive-thru bank) and then use notes all week.

And it's really interesting, cos every time you I buy something, I have to hand over the physical cash. You get such a feeling for what you're spending. Back in London I'd put my Switch card into the tube station ticket machine in the morning, and spend an invisible 5 pounds. Buying a round in a pub, another ten pounds or so. Lunch at Boots? There's another 3 pounds, and add another 20 on if I trot to Oxford Circus and buy a T-Shirt or two.

But now, I see it disappear in real-time. And I think I'm spending less. Even taking the exchange rate and the "expenses" into account (which aren't that good really... I get expenses here while paying for ongoing stuff in London - shame it's not the other way round!) it's still less of a payout. I think I subconsciously start each day as being a new accounting period. So if I get to the evening and have spent a lot during the day, I'll cut back a bit. If I'd done it all on Switch though, I might be less aware at that day's outgoings.

The downside of course is that I can't actually order anything online. Or reserve hotel rooms. Or pay on plastic in shops. I found myself buying off Amazon.co.uk cos they take switch, rather than using Amazon.com here, crazy eh.

And what is it with $1 notes!?!? They're worth about 55p and they're paper! So you end up with a pocket-full of these basically pointless notes! Coins, everytime.

According to Q (the magazine, not the James Bond character), Bloc Party are from Peckham in sunny London, so I felt spurred on by the UK connection to go to the Gypsy Tea Rooms and see them.

And to be fair, a great gig. They (and the support band) were fab, the venue was intimate but not tiny and the air conditioning was really good... which is always important in this town.

There's a review of the group here if you want to know more.

Oh, and I'm definately getting fatter. Exercise this weekend, me thinks.

...and according to the text service that I don't know how to cancel, there are delays on the Central Line due to a signal failure at Queensway.

Minor delays.

And seeing as I paid a fortune to learn that, I thought I'd pass it on.

Right, some pictures of Dallas.

Firstly, it really is a car with wood-effect panels around the side. Really! Can you imagine going to buy a car, but only accepting the deal if the salesman agrees to put a really dodgy wood covering on some of the car?........



Moving on... here's one I took while driving. It's not the most dramatic of Dallas flyovers, but gives an impression of the road-building plans for the area. If you're not sure how the roads will cross over, put one 50 feet in the air...........



My favourite place in Dallas is White Rock Lake, a lovely area with a nine mile cycle path and a really relaxed feel to it. This shows the lake with Dallas' skyline in the distance...........



.....and here are some ducks at the lake.............



Random stuff now. Here's a sign for a condom shop. It amused me - the over-publicised idea that you could have a wok and a condom without having to even move your car!.................



Here's the dial that concerns me slightly from my hire car.............



.............and here's my guide to Dallas, Rachel.......... we were trying to do gangster photos, but the batteries ran out.



I think I'm starting to get a tan. Either that or I'm not washing properly.

Tis all.

Can't avoid them on the TV!

At the weekend it was Vernon Kay on Hit Me Baby One More Time. Earlier tonight I'm sure I heard Alan Dedicoat (voice of the balls) doing continuity for a gameshow, and right now the Late Late Show - which is presented by a Scot whose name I don't know - is interviewing an actress from Peckham, South London.

They really do love the Brits.

Every pub / drive-thru / meeting that I go to, they love the accent, they want to know where you're from, what you think of Texas, why you're here, and whether you know the Queen.

Well, I made the last bit up but the rest is true.

I have new photos but they're at home, I'll upload later.

Nipping out for lunch was so simple in the UK - everywhere sold sandwiches, crisps, baguettes and so on. Here, it's the same, but instead of sandwhiches it's burgers. And we're talking big burgers. Mostly coming from drive-through places. And it's not just McD's and Burgerking, it's lots of different brands and varieties.

Yesterday though I found a shop claiming to sell cheese and ham sandwiches. Superb I thought, something a bit less steak-filled. So I went through the drivethrough to get it, and I've never seen a sandwich quite so big, or with so many fillings. It was enormous! I couldn't eat the whole thing! And it came with what looked like enough coke to put out a few forest fires.

And drive-throughs... you can drive through anything here. We're used to drive-thru burger joints, but here you've got drive-thru banks, donut shops, Starbucks, even drive-thru pharmacies! "I'd like two headache tablets and a morning-after pill to go please"...

All of this is more evidence as to why the USA has the highest rate of obesity in the world... because there's really no need to get out of your car... you can get it all through your window. Now, this'd also indicate why people have got such enormous vehicles here; if you're going to spend all your time in your vehicle then why not have a nice one.

Bear in mind that you can get a brand new BMW, Jaguar or even Hummer for under $30,000 (16 thousand pounds) and being fat suddenly becomes very affordable.

Mmm. Salad, anyone?

Went to a midnight launch of the new Coldplay album at a record store last night... they supplied pizza and beer, played the album in the background while we all nattered, then we could buy it from midnight.

I was trying to explain that as I'm from the UK (as are Coldplay), our midnight was actually 6 hours earlier and I should be able to buy the album before anyone else. Not surprisingly, they weren't too convinced.

And, somewhat annoyingly, the album was $13.99 to buy (about £8) - cheaper than back home. Seems bizarre to buy a British album cheaper here than in Blighty.

Oh, and the album? Tis good. Relaxed, thoughtful, melancholy, good.

Well the Kia has been removed, and replaced with a Honda Coupe. Top news! Electric windows, a sunroof, wheels, doors, all the latest mod cons! Actually, it's got cruise control which could be good fun to play with tomorrow - an excuse to drive some distance somewhere.

Fancy a picture or two? OK...




There she is. Anyway, having been sent countless texts and emails with the instructions on how to actually get to Amarillo, I might try to do that tomorrow and have my photo taken with the town sign. Could be fun!

I got an email at work today, saying something along the lines of...

"The hire car company phoned earlier to say that they've sold your car... they'll pop round tomorrow to collect it."

Uh? But... that's my hire car! Luckily, they'll be bringing another one to replace it. I've asked for something bigger, so that 1) I can buy a bike and put it in the back of the vehicle, and 2) because that guarantees that it can't be another Kia Rio.

Due to the weather being gorgeous, I'm going to take a walk and bare my legs to the outside world.

...could you sue your radio station for $10 million, because another presenter wore a perfume that you didn't like.

Think I'm joking?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1492336,00.html