Stevens in the States

...it arrived in less time than they estimated. And my delivery driver was from Columbia. Which means the journey from his home town, via NJ to collect the pizza, was a remarkable achievement.

More seriously, I guess it's no different to me phoning my UK bank and getting a call centre in India. Though this felt more glamourous... partly because of the lack of overdraft.

So, it's just gone 9pm, I've got a stack of work here, so I've taken the easy option and ordered out for a pizza. My fridge is covered in Pizza Hut leaflets, so I called the nearest branch up, which is a mile or so down the road.

Now the lady on the phone doesn't sound overly local... because... she isn't. It turns out I'm talking to a Pizza Hut call centre in New Jersey, a whole 1500 miles away! Wow!

So, can they deliver a pizza in 30 minutes? Will it actually come from NJ? And will the driver be able to find my town house? Stay tuned kids, for another exciting update, after the break...

"Awwww, how cute! You said "fits and starts" - so very British!"

Never in their history, have the Dallas Mavericks got to the NBA (Basketball) finals.

Except for this year. Now, the finals are first-to-four wins, and this year are against Miami Heat.

The first game was won by... Dallas.
The second game was won by... Dallas.

The city rejoiced, expecting a 4-nil whitewash. However, then things started to go slightly wrong.

The third game was won by... Miami.
The fourth game was won by... Miami.

And tonight, the fifth game was won, in extra time, by... Miami. Feck.

Which means that Tuesday evening is going to be a *massive* evening! If Miami win, the series is theirs. Whereas if Dallas win, it goes down to the final game on Thursday evening.

If you want slightly more in-depth coverage, head here...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/basketball/5093522.stm

...but don't expect much sense from me on Tuesday, what with England playing Sweden in the afternoon (US time) and the basketball in the evening. Time to fill the drinks cabinet!

The Good News = I haven't eaten a burger since I gave them up. I have had a couple of grilled chicken sandwiches, but they don't count.

The Bad News = I don't look or feel any thinner. Bah humbug.

Someone suggested I should give up beef and beer, but that's just crazy-talk. I think it might have to be the gym. After the UK, of course. Talking of which, I return soon. Book your place on the big ChrisUK tour now!

I'll meet you at the burger place...

I've noted quite a few things in this blog that confuse, annoy or amuse me about the unique way of America. But here's two things from eating out here that the UK could learn from.

SPLITTING THE BILL

Restaurants are more than happy to split the bill between people at a meal. So none of that deciding who's going to put it on their credit card, or having to carry enough cash to chip in for your bit of the total. Split bills are the way forward. Except for dates, obviously.

THE TAKE-OUT BOX

Can't eat all your meal? Not surprising based on the mountain-sized portions here. However, places are delighted to give you a take-out box so you can take the rest of your meal away with you for future consumption. In fact, they're almost offended if you don't want to. After all, if you've enjoyed this lovely meal they've cooked for you, why wouldn't you want to take the rest away with you? It makes complete sense.

THE TIP

Tipping is now something that is natural to me. 15% minimum, up to 20% for really good service. I'm used to it. However, through my own confusion, I tipped far too less at a meal I had earlier, which I'm now feeling rather guilty about.

UK restaurants... learn from the above... apart from the 15% tip bit!

Sometimes when driving home, I'll hit the "Find Alternative Route" button and let the sat-nav show me a different route home. Tonight, I did just that, and at one point on the journey had that whole "I've been here before" feeling. It seemed so familiar.

Then I realised where I thought I was... just behind Oxford Road, in the centre of Manchester!

However, it turned out that I was actually still 4800 miles away from the UK, thus, it turned out to be just another bit of Dallas.

Ah well.

Even if they tyre didn't.

So, I was driving along the toll road, doing about 65 miles an hour, when suddenly...

BRR BRR BRR THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD BANG!

The car lurched to one side, which wasn't good as there were three very thin lanes, and no hard shoulder because of roadworks. My front passenger side tyre had burst, so I got over to the inside lane and stopped, as by that point it felt like I was driving on the rim.

However, blocking a lane of a major highway isn't a wise thing to do, as cars started queueing and honking immediately.

Rather shaken up, I phoned the breakdown people straight away, who asked if I wanted police assistance. Realising that I would cause a crash if I was there for long, I said "yes".

And within a minute, a state trooper car turned up. (Note for the Brits, state troopers work over larger areas than the local police, who just deal with their patch. So you get the troopers on the major highways a lot.) He wouldn't let me stay on the highway as - quite rightly - I was causing a hazard. So I had to drive at 5 miles an hour down the highway, with him behind me with all lights blaring.

Then another police car turned up.

So now, I'm going down a motorway at the slowest speed possible, with two police cars flanking me, one shouting instructions to me over their tannoy! It was like a scene from one of those American real-life cops shows!

And the tyre? Well, far from good...



The police were great though - they got me to a parking lot, and 10 minutes later the breakdown company turned up and helped me with the spare wheel. Well, they changed the wheel, and I watched. Then they gave me a roadmap of Dallas and disappeared!

All in all - the police were fantastic, the breakdown guy was great, and it was all covered by my insurance. A happy ending to what could have been so much worse.

Seriously! How shocked was I when I heard that announcement coming out of my TV!

Luckily, we're not talking about this...



Instead, we're talking about a new car in the Mercury range. Mercury, confusingly, is owned by Ford, who spent many years promoting the Sierra in competition to the Montego.



Beautiful, I'm sure you'll agree. Not dull-looking in the slightest. Zzzzz...

If grey cars turn you on, check out the Montego site here.

...at 9am yesterday morning, looked like this...

(Written yesterday afternoon)

Both geographical sides of my life are currently involved in major sporting events.

Over in America...

On the US side of things, the Dallas Mavericks (The Mavs) have managed to get to the NBA finals for the first time ever. For those who aren't aware of basketball (which included me until recently) will be surprised to know that each level of the competition (quarter finals, semis, etc) takes place over seven games. So if you lose the first, it doesn't matter. As long as you win four games before your opponent does, you're sorted.

The first of the 7 final games was last night, and Dallas won. I watched much of it in a grill/bar place, and the rest at home, and it was actually really exciting!

Meanwhile in Europe...

The World Cup started today. That's soccer, if you're American, and possibly the most important thing ever if you're British.

England have one of their best chances this year. OK, so we say that every time, but this time it's actually true. Wayne Rooney is recovering nicely, and the team are well balanced. This really could be the year. Football's coming home. And to win it in Germany would be particularly sweet.

However...

Mavs games are generally in the evening, and go on for hours. World Cup games are generally in the morning or early afternoon, and are incredibly intense affairs. This means, ladies and gents, that I'm going to be knackered.

And the tiresome schedule starts in the morning. At 8am I shall be at the Londoner in Addison, watching England take on Paraguay.

Who's with me?

Anyone?

Anyone?

I return to the UK in 25 days. And I think it's fair to say that I could do with eating a bit healthier. So, between now and my flight back, I'm on a burger amnesty.

This could be difficult. After all, I'm living in Texas. And the burgers here are stunning in every way. Whether it's the superb blue cheese burger from my local pub across the road, or Burger Street at 2am after a night out, or just the rather lovely Jack In The Box drivethru close to where I work... it all has to stop.

Now, granted, cutting burgers out of my diet won't turn me from being a slightly heavier-than-when-I-got-here Chris into a slender muscled one. It's more of a symbolic gesture to go alongside the other things I'll be doing.

It's also going to be a challenge. I like burgers. Especially the ones here.

I'm now going to do some sit-ups while avoiding the thought of two beef patties, oozing with cheese, some onion and tomato slices in a freshly toasted bun... mmmm...