Stevens in the States

I'm a fan of Red Bull. Love the stuff. It's great. However, I limit myself to one a day. In reality that's probably still too many, and I don't have one every day, just most days. And only the 8oz cans, not the 12ox cans.

America likes it's energy drinks - there's one called Monster that is enormous! It comes in a 440ml can, that's more than a pint.

So that you can appreciate the size of it, here's a picture of a can, conveniently placed next to a human body for scale purposes.

Anyway, I digress.

A few weeks ago on TV, I saw an interview with a man who had invented an energy drink called "Cocaine". Ha, I thought, funny name, clever marketing idea, high shock value blah blah, not surprisingly there were drug groups condemning it, all the usual stuff you'd expect.

And that was that. Until Tuesday, when I stumbled across a can in my local Shell petrol station. It was next to the Red Bull, so I thought I'd veer from the usual, and try cocaine. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

And here it is...

Nice labeling, funky font, and the can is the same physical size as a Red Bull can. No "monster" here, surely.

Drinking it

The first thing that hits you is the smell. Wow, it's strong. It's like an entire sweet shop melted down and forced into a can. It's so sweet-smelling, it's quite enough to put you off your food. And the drink.

At this point I made a mistake. Rather than taking a swig from the can, I poured some into a glass. And the stuff is bright, bright pink. Flourescent. The stuff glows. It could light a factory in a power cut.

This picture (which like the rest on this page, I stole) doesn't do it justice. It's like the stuff is radiated. Anyway, by this point, I now have a polystyrine cup with a strong sick-smelling pink drink.

Time to drink it. I put the glass to my mouth, and swallow some. Good grief! It's like I've swallowed a match! My throat feels like it's burning up! I'm an experienced Red Buller, but this is an entirely new level!

Somewhat shocked, I sat down, and turned to the internet to find out what caused it. Cocaine's very own website (www.drinkcocaine.com) told me... it's Caffeine.

And a lot of it. Look at this graph.



I know it's small, but the top line is Cocaine. The one just below it is Starbucks' Grande Coffee (there's a scary thought), and Red Bull is really quite far down the list. There's four times as much in Cocaine as in Red Bull.

Yet again, I have learnt my limits. No cocaine for me at lunch-time.

I left the can in our kitchen, and later saw it with powdered coffee creamer across the top of the can, looking like it really was cocaine! That amused me.

Moral of the story? Drink a can of this stuff and it'll give you more than wings.

And if you want to read the typical backlash to a product that dares to have a different name, click http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/News/7ElevenYanksCocaine.aspx?GT1=8618